Acceptance of Happiness
For some reason I am struggling with allowing happiness to be just what it is… happiness. With so many years of pain, suffering, misery et al (all subjective I suppose) it appears I have entered unfamiliar territory.
What is this thing, this place, called happiness?
I longed most of my life for it and now that it is here I don’t know what to do with it. I am not sure that I deserve it; my friends Pain and Suffering and all the rest of them know me better than happiness ever did, yet I don’t want them in my life however; subconsciously, I miss them. They were the places I called home; they were consistent and seemingly always present.
I find myself looking for things to get annoyed about or creating an environment where happiness could not live (like a messy apartment) and yet deep down inside I am happy.
I cannot forget the pain and suffering that led me to using drugs, and I must not forget the pain and suffering I endured and caused in my active addiction. However, there is a new kid in town… Happiness, it’s time for me to say, “Hello, and welcome.“ It belongs here… just like I do.